A Summer In the Adirondacks

Sometimes life doesn't always follow that plan you specifically write out. It could be a bad thing, or it could just be a thing that happens to teach you more about who you are or who you are meant to be. For me, I'd like to think it's the second scenario.

In May of this year, my family found out that my mom was diagnosed with stage one lung cancer. It wasn't a surprise because we as a family all knew that she had been smoking for over 40 years. Though she had caught it early, we were all still scared and worried about what was next for my mom. Things moved fast. There were appointments and tests that never seemed to end. As for me, I felt awful. I had just moved to Memphis committing to the job hunt and working on my podcast, which I enjoyed. I was starting to meet new people and was getting more comfortable with my new home. However, all I wanted to do the moment my mom told me the bad news was hop in my car and be there for her. But, I knew that wasn't what she wanted. So I waited. And I waited until the first week of June. For my eldest brother's wedding.

The wedding was in Cleveland, Ohio and it was beautiful (photo below). It wasn't the first time I had been to Cleveland, even in the last week, because I had just driven through with my cat from Memphis, which deserves its own blog post, to be honest. (Did you know cats can turn off cruise control? Because I didn't) But besides the wedding, I was able to spend time with family I barely get to see like my cousin, Jackson. It was a complete coincidence that his family (my aunt+uncle & Jackson's girlfriend) were going to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame the same time we were so we got to do a fun family activity a few hours before the wedding. Again, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame deserves its own blog post, but for the sake of the story, it was very cool and full of incredible not just rock but music history artifacts.

My brother and his wife know how to throw an event. It was a three-day extravaganza. Day one was the rehearsal dinner which was at a trendy brewery that had a cool industrial feel (and even better beer). The food was incredible. (I had no idea you could fall in love with Brussel sprouts!) By far the brewery had the best food of the three days. After dinner, my sister and I went to a martini bar and drank varying chocolate martini's which were again, absolutely delicious. Day two was the actual wedding day. I started it off by eating a massive breakfast burrito and having to choose between going to the Cleveland Zoo with my niece and nephew or going to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It was like choosing between your two favorite flavors of ice cream, but the music major in me got the final say, as you already know. Next up was the actual wedding. It was a stunning ceremony. The venue was, I felt, the perfect place for my brother and his new wife to get married. It was classic and elegant yet fresh and contemporary. Exactly what I envisioned for them. The ceremony was beautiful and the night was full of dancing and card games. Lastly, the third day was a barbecue at their house which was when I got to spend quality aunt time with my niece and nephew playing with squirt guns and other water toys. Plus there was a taco truck. I'll say it again. A TACO TRUCK! I had no idea you could hire someone to bring a whole food truck to your home for events. My wedding will definitely have some sort of food truck. For sure.

This is where the summer really begins. I had planned to return to Memphis a week after the wedding just to have a little Upstate New York summer with some friends and family that didn't attend the wedding. Little did I know that my fun little week-long summer would be four months. Luckily for my mom, the cancer was small and her doctor was able to surgically remove all of the growths. But there was quite a recovery time and both my youngest brother and my father work long days and wouldn't be around to help my mom do chores around the house like cook dinner, take care of the pets, and grocery shopping. So, after discussing with my family I decided I would stay for a few weeks into July. And we made the most of the sunny days. My family owns a camp on the Hudson River and our land has access to this huge rock that juts out to make the perfect sunning spot. I don't think I've ever been so freckled in my life. It's very rare in adulthood that you get to spend a few hours with your parents let alone days of uninterrupted vacation time. We got almost four months of beautiful sunshine, floating, crosswords puzzles, and fires together! My dogs loved it. They found themselves fetching for sticks and being cat-called by the white water rafters that

floated by. As you can see in the photo, they also got pretty dirty and have turned my car into a dog hair disaster. (But it's okay because they're really cute)

Many of my days were spent with my mom and dogs at the river doing crossword puzzles and reading books (I can't tell you the last time I read four books for fun), but an equal amount was spent with my best friend and her kids. For those who don't know me in real life, my hometown best friend has three kids whose lives I've been a part of since they came into this world. They mean the world to me, as does their mom, but getting as many minutes with the little ones was incredibly important to me if I was going to be home for an undetermined amount of time. We celebrated birthdays, visited their family (running with their goofy Great Danes), went on walks around town, and even went apple picking! And of course, my baby-sitting services were used, but I loved every moment of it. I never thought of myself as a person who would ever want kids or even remotely like them. But these kids changed me. I learned that not only was it possible that I could keep children alive, but I was kind of good at it. With every cuddle and imaginary meal, my heart melted and this will go down as being one of my favorite summers I've ever spent with the kids.

Besides the kids, I was able to spend some actual friend time with my best friend, Dylan. For almost four years she's been 100% a mom, which is great for her kids but not great for maintaining a friendship. I had no idea how big a change having children could have on a person's social life and it was a huge hurdle that we faced as friends over the last few years. We would hang out, but it was either with the kids or only for a short time because the babysitter was only watching them for a few hours. I missed my best friend. The one where we would be spontaneous and get coffee from our local cafe and then jet off somewhere to cause trouble. But this summer was when I got her back. We did all the things I had wished we could have done for all these years. We went out to dinner, had movie nights, took random trips to target, and went out drinking! (Since becoming of legal age we had never shared a drink)

It may seem like a pretty weird thing to be excited about doing with a best friend, but this meant the world to me. In a small town like ours going out to the bar was the only thing to keep your social life alive. Or at least, my social life alive. All of my high school friends used to say, "You know everyone!" and if they went out to drink for the last 23 years, yeah I probably do know everyone for the most part. I know a lot of people, but I only get to see them when I go out. So when Dylan decided she wanted to try going out to the local bar, I was ecstatic for her to meet and interact with all the cool people I have known for years. My two worlds (there are so many more worlds, but the two most important at the moment) were finally meeting. Which made me incredibly happy, so happy it made the thought of leaving incredibly sad all of a sudden.

All of July passed by when I had decided I was going to leave in August. But my birthday was at the beginning of August. I didn't want to go back to Memphis to not have friends to celebrate my birthday with. So I stayed. And I stayed. And I stayed until it was the end of August. I was so happy. I was doing things that brought me so much joy. This is when I really struggled with what I wanted to do with my life. I was torn. Moving was something I wanted more than anything when I graduated from college and continued to be when I finally moved to Memphis. But, here, at home. I was me. I was happy. I was hanging out with people I loved to spend time with, meeting new people, and kissing cute boys. But that was my life at home. Not a fake life, but the perfect life I had envisioned that I would love for a few months, but not the rest of my life. When winter rolled around I would have realized quickly that I had to be back in Memphis. So after what felt like forever of going back and forth with my feelings, I decided to end of September.

Fall in the Adirondacks is, in most people's opinions, better than the summer. And in some ways, I would agree. It's gorgeous with all the colors and crisp cool air welcoming in the new season. Fall always used to remind me of school, so I never really loved it. However, now that I don't have to go back to school, fall has become a season that makes New York feel like home. I realized this summer that I don't want to live in the south all year round like I originally thought. October to May in the south and June to September in the north would be my ideal schedule. One day I hope to get that, but for now, I have to make the hard choice and choose myself and my ambitious dreams and move back to the life I've wanted since I was a little girl.

I am going back. There are just a few more things I have to do before I can leave. I had an amazing summer home that had me feeling all of the emotions and struggles of adulthood. I made quite of few mistakes (some bigger than others, oops). But I've learned a lot about myself and who I am and who I want to be. So I think that my extended summer was productive. Or at least that's what I tell myself to help me sleep at night. But it wasn't just me who had a great summer! My cat loved having a huge screened-in front porch all summer and I think, in the end, did appreciate seeing his animal siblings. For the most part, I think everyone who wanted me to stay in New York forever was glad to have me around if only just for a few months. I was grateful for all the spontaneous adventures I was able to have on my unexpected North Country summer. Thanks to everyone who made my life incredible for the last four months.

P.S. for those who are curious about the podcast, it is coming back! I swear. Pinky promise. Also enjoy the extra photos I took through out the summer.